As Buffy comes to a close I find it funny that I have started to sing a song from the Xena: Warrior Princess episode The Bitter Suite.
My heart is hurting beyond words.
The pain is tearing up my soul.
These days have seen my spirit die,
My life propelled out of control.
(Hearts are Hurting pt 1)
The fact that Buffy: The Vampire Slayer is coming to an end fills me with the same desperation, denial and confusion that I went through when Xena: Warrior Princess ended.
I feel desperation because I haven’t found anything that will fill the gap. There isn’t another series out there since Xena ended that I absolutely cannot miss. Yes I love Angel but it’s different. Buffy has had no real competition for my viewing time. I like Charmed but hey if it clashed with Buffy I’d have to give it a miss. I’d promised myself I’d get a life after Xena ended. I told myself I’d continue to watch Buffy but I’d be more detached, less involved so that when it came to an end as all good things do, I wouldn’t feel the emptiness again. But that’s me all over no good at taking my own advice.
It would be easier to give up chocolate. How the hell was I about to turn my back on a show that had given me great episodes like Becoming, Graduation Day and Hush to name just a few? And such villains as The Mayor, the Gentlemen and the Fear Demon. Heck no, a patch hadn’t been made that could wean me off such a series and sadly one hasn’t been made that will help me through the end.
Denial because I can’t believe it’s ending. Has it really been that long? Surely everything that could be said hasn’t been said. Has it? Okay. I learnt about death and love and about rushing in to marriage. Then there were the rebound guy lessons. And that some guys turn evil once they get you in bed. Yes. I’m talking about you Parker stinking Abrahms, oh and you Angel. I know how to stick by my friends even when they are strung out on magic, or they are not part of the cool brigade.
Buffy has shown me so much in seven years and I think it’s right and proper to end the series now. Seven seasons? Not bad innings. Some say that maybe season seven shouldn’t have happened but hey, I still learnt some stuff from this last season. Like, courage can be found in the most unlikeliest of people (I love Andrew). And that it’s okay to switch sides if you’re on the losing team (did I mention how I feel about Andrew). Alright, I tuned into season seven because it was Buffy and there was no way I was gonna miss an episode. I stayed for the Andrew, Xander and Anya banter. I also hoped that Willow would overcome her fear of magic and evolve into this super cool totally in control witch. I realised that this last couldn’t happen as it would make her more powerful than Buffy who was the reason I tuned in every week.
Buffy the hero who had been detaching herself from her power center (her friends) since season six, and recognised that she had an inferiority complex about her superiorly complex. Buffy who’s constant speech making made me realise that I was turning into my father. I hated his speeches “You need to do better in school. The qualifications you get now will determine the type of jobs you can go for.” Or “If you don’t learn to tidy up your room and take better care of your things….” Yawn, yawn,yawn. Until you realise you are saying the same yawn inducing but totally relevant things to your own children. Buffy’s speeches were mostly relevant but long and repetitive. And now that I’ve been reminded of how painful they are to listen to, I have vowed to stop doing it. Being in charge sucks!
So yes. I’ve definitely learnt stuff from season seven and if there really aren’t any lessons left to learn then it’s time for me to grow up too. (Some may say that at my age I’m long overdue).
I know (thanks to Angel in Graduation Day) that if you love someone enough you should let them go.
I Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
16 may 2003